A letter to autism

A letter to Autism. Yes.  I used that name.  Because I dislike that name.  No sense in toning it down here.  Call you what you are. I don’t like you.  No, more than that.  I don’t see you as “just another quality of me.”  I hate you.  I hate that I’m burdened with knowing you … More A letter to autism

Anger

The other day I felt anger. This is new for me.  I usually don’t feel much, to be honest.  When I do feel, I don’t know what it is (good old alexythemia). But I felt angry.  At a person specifically.  For good reason.  He was raising my hopes, then cutting them down.  More than hopes, … More Anger

Lonely again…

Loneliness . Its a thing today.  It seems it always comes out on Sundays.  Well and the anxiety.  Sundays really are hard days for me.  I get everything done that needs to be done on Saturdays.  And Sundays, I’m alone with nothing to do.  No one to talk to.  It all builds on Saturday and … More Lonely again…

Up and down…

Couple days ago I was told I wasn’t going to finish by December.  That set off a whole massive anxiety fueled spiral down.  I’ve been working for four years, only to be told I wasn’t going to finish by the due date.  And was blamed for it, when in reality I wait for the supervisor … More Up and down…

I disappeared.

So I disappeared.  I hardcore disappeared. Its been a bit rough round these parts. I decided I’m moving back to the US. I mean its about time, my degree is almost done.  I’ve been away for 4 years.  But the decision wasn’t based on “almost done.”  It was based on “I’m so unhappy here that … More I disappeared.